My Shillington Journey: Part Two

Welcome back to the second part of this blog post.

So, I had handed in my notice & all of my preparation was going well. I had been on a clothes shopping spree & I was getting so excited - but my anxiety was rearing its head. I had all the usual worries spinning around my head;

- Was I making a stupid (and expensive) mistake?
- Was I going to be any good at this?
- Was I going to make any friends?
- Was I going to graduate?
- Will I get a job after I graduate?
- If I don't graduate, what is my next plan?

I was definitely stepping out of my comfort zone & getting stupidly flustered in the process. But my (now ex) fiancé assured me that everything was going to be okay - so I believed him (more on that later).

Before I knew it, the course start day had arrived. I felt so sick the night before, so much so that I hardly slept a wink. I woke up super early to get ready & got to class on time. I remember walking into the classroom & seeing a group of the girls that had already arrived. I walked over & as soon as I sat down, a lovely Italian lady (Chantal) asked me where I was from. I told her that I was from Brisbane & was super excited when I found out a lot of my classmates weren't from Australia. I had never experienced such an eclectic room of individuals before - it was amazing! (Yes, I have lived a fairly sheltered life thus far). Before more chatting could be done, we were instructed to find where our pink name tag which was on one of the iMacs. I thought to myself 'it's go time'.

The first week flew past, as did the second and third weeks. Unfortunately, for the first half of the course, I really felt like a fish out of water. I felt like I knew what good design was, but compared to everyone else in the class, MY designs were BAD. My worst nightmare was coming true - was this going to be another failed attempt at trying to start a career?

I remember one particular project, I had to design a poster for a Broadway musical. To say I struggled is an understatement. One of my teachers, Shanti must have sensed something was wrong and the tears started flowing. I remember saying to her 'what am I even doing here, I'm not as good as everyone else'. This was my daily thought, all of the other girls in the class were amazing! What they could achieve was utterly gobsmacking. I remember thinking, everyone else's work was like the Mona Lisa, whereas mine looked like a 2-year-old finger painted them. Still, with daily self-doubt constantly going through my head, I persevered. A few more weeks passed and my designs were slowly getting 'better', but I hadn't had an OMG design. That was until we were given our 'Handmade Project'.

Around that time, a lot of Thug Life videos were on social media & they always made me laugh. So I wanted to incorporate that somehow into my handmade project. Long story short, I made a lino print of fists with the phrase Thug Life on the knuckles. Similar to the tattoo Tupac has on his knuckles (the final product can be seen in my portfolio). This was my lightbulb moment. I finally produced a piece of work that I was proud to share and it felt great! Then things just kept getting better from there. But as they say, everything that goes up must come down...

Please continue to stay tuned, the next chapter of my journey is on the way :)

Until next time,
Cora
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